Science and nature tell us that as women we are programmed to nurture. We are instinctually motherly and family oriented. Somewhere between science and our innate instincts life falls into place, usually interjecting itself in the most untimely manner. Since the beginning of my memory I have imagined my wedding, and what my little family I’d build would be like. In 2012 I found out things weren’t going to be as I imagined them. Now in 2016, as a 27-year-old single mother I still think about my wedding, and what my little family will turn out to be. The idea of family covers an array of notions to an infinite number of people. Myself in particular, I like to picture my family as myself, my child, and the man that makes up the other half of her DNA. My reality however, is not such.
Upon embarking on this dating journey as a single mom, I was apprehensive for several reasons. One of the most important reasons was that I was unsure if I was ready for building a blended family. As a product of a blended family I have experienced first hand the positive, and negative aspects of such a heterogeneous mixture. As I swirl the idea of myself, as a wife, and again a mother around in my head, my fears are awakened by less aged memories. I can recall moments of feeling like an outsider in my own home. There were moments I felt my mother had chosen a man over me, her flesh and blood. I remember thinking that I’m supposed to be more important than anyone.